The day we all pretend to care about is around the corner, yes its father’s day!!! You always get the sense we try a little too hard to appreciate fathers whereas for sweet little moms the love is just gushing out.

No ” I cleaned the car daddy!”

 I remember Julius from Everybody Hates Chris and what he wanted on his birthday; just to be alone. I get the feeling that’s what fathers really want, just a day of peace and quiet and, maybe a hot bowl of fufu and the added bonus of Confed cup footy this June.

 Don’t bet on that though, the fathers will wake up that Sunday morning to drive the wife and kids to church. This is, of course, after waiting ages for them to get ready and he has a further hour in a tin can with the kid’s noise and scampering to contend with, A great start to father’s day. We’ll take it though, we have been for hundreds of years.

 Now to the order of the day, my list and take on some of the worst dads I’ve seen on the big screen, just plain dirt bags soooo…..

 Billy Bob Thorton as Hank Grotowski (Monster’s Ball)

In Thortons’s Hank Grotowski we see a father who really sees nothing to be a happy about in life. He is utterly and permanently disappointed in his son (Heath Ledger, God rest his soul) and loathes his apparent weakness and beating him on occasion for signs of weakness. How he eventually gets a heart to connect with Halle Berry’s character is beyond me especially considering his racial issues. This attitude eventually leads his son to suicide and what is Grotowski’s last act as a father? To tell his son he hates him. Definitely no father of the year awards for him.

 Sergi Lopez as Captain Vidal (Pan’s Labyrinth)

Pan’s Labyrinth presents Captain Vidal in war time Spain who is seems alright in the beginning. He is stepfather to Ofelia and has a baby on the way with her mama. Now watching the movie we don’t really see any tangible relationship between he and Ofelia which may be expected with the whole “step” situation. By the end of the movie however, Guillermo del Toro’s fantasy unleashes a truly satanic man upon us when the war situation hits the fan and *spoiler coming* he shoots his step daughter. Vidal wouldn’t pass as a half-decent human being let alone a loving father.

Danny DeVito as Harry Wormwood (Matilda)

Matilda was like my The Godfather when I was 7 or 8, must have seen it a dozen times. The father in question here is Harry Wormwood, an annoying name to go with a very annoying personality. I remember when he forces her to watch TV with the rest of the family instead of reading a book, which I might add was her passion and I have never seen a father so eager to sign off custody of his child to a complete stranger as we see towards the end of the movie. Maybe he deserves some credit for being liberal with the TV.

      Seth Mcfarlane(voice) as Peter Griffin (Family Guy)

He was in the family Guy movie so he makes the cut. Peter Griffith is an absolute twat of a human being, anyone who’s seen Family Guy will attest to that. I’ve never watched a character I literally wanted to kill, I have always rooted for the chicken whenever they fight. He has two kids, Chris and Meg (I don’t believe Stewie is his). He gives the most outrageous advice to Chris sometimes and he is always quick to dish out degrading treatment to her.  Add his extremely uncouth nature to that and, well, you get peter Griffin.

                William H. Macy as Frank Gallagher (Shameless)

Frank’s character appears on Showtime but I just had to add him because his day-to-day life is a list of don’ts for all fathers. In him we see the father of the most dysfunctional family on TV, I dare you to name me another. Junkie, check, deadbeat, check, drunk, check and every other dreadful trait you can think of. I think back to what does with baby Liam early on in season 2; he uses him as a prop during his roadside begging antics and later that day uses the baby as collateral after an ill-advised bet with some gangsters. *Sigh* the saddest thing about frank Gallagher is that we all probably know two or three men like him.

There have been some stand up dads on screen worthy of praise, some based on true stories even and hopefully I do get to them next week along with the Father’s day happenings just to balance the equation.

you can share some of the dirt bag dads you’ve seen with me in the comments section and happy fathers day to all you potential papas.

Published by Delali Adogla-Bessa

Lover of the bleaker pleasures of cinema... and some good trash.

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